I’m overweight and old. In a society that values petite, young women, I am discarded… as many of us are.  And, when we become outcasts — trodden down by our society’s collective unconscious — we personally take part in the attack and erosion of our self-belief and self-esteem.  The mind churns out a repetitive tape of negative criticism regarding our looks.  We counter-attack our own thoughts as best we can, but as we step out of our doors completely aware of what strangers and friends alike will see when they look at us, the looped tape begins again.

And how does one get off this hellish circular ride?  By truly seeing beauty: the laughter, the love, the eternal potential that lies in all of us.  This is not an easy thing to do — to see past the apparent — and certainly not one that I have mastered.  But it’s a hope.  And a promise.

We really all are beautiful if you open your heart.  And that’s a true statement, not just a New Age, self-help Pollyanna platitude.  So look at those photos of yourself and see yourself again for the first time; see the laughter and love and finally  — finally – be free.

How did this philosophical introspection begin, you ask?  We just got back from England and I am in a lot of the photos with my round body and my red cherub face full of wrinkles.  I look like Mrs Clause in a short skirt.  Like many people, my immediate thought was, “I need to lose weight.  I look terrible.”  But instead of quickly skipping past the photos in shame, I decided to actually look at myself.  And in the end, I liked what I saw.  What matters in this life is our connection with people and our shared experiences, and that is what I saw underneath the extra weight and wrinkles.  For the first time, I saw me.

Lindsey and I in London
18 June 2008

Ben and Allison’s Wedding
21 June 2008

At Ben and Allison’s Wedding
21 June 2008

Eating ice cream at the wedding breakfast
21 June 2008

At the park
Wells-next-the-sea, England
22 June 2008

At the park
Wells-next-the-sea, England
22 June 2008

In the back garden
Wells-next-the-sea, England
22 June 2008

At Sandringham
24 June 2008

At Sandringham
24 June 2008

In the car driving back from Sandringham
24 June 2008

And that’s my challenge to the folks who read this blog entry.  Find your self in your photos.  You’re there, waiting to be seen.